She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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