Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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