everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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