I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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