Swine flu. Run for my life!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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