Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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