he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize