If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
