Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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