Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
