i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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