I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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