If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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