i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
