So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
