Im at strip club and am horny
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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