I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
