We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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