I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You dont lie about slip and slides
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
