I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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