it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
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Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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