You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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