I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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