mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
