words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
