Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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