what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
