have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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