somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize