I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
this hospital has no fireball
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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