I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
