I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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