How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
