We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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