I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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