would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
