Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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