That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
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I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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