He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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