i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
