Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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