hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
