He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
