Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
