she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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