Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
