I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
