please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
