I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
