Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
