Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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