My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
