I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
