I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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