They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
