great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
