dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize