Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
